29.08.08

Electrickery


There are two ways you notice electricity.

When it’s running through you on an unexpected joy ride, and

When it’s not there.


Last week the fuse out on the boundary blew and so we rang the Electric Company (flash back to 1980’s children’s television workshop) and two diligent Thai workers came out to fix the problem. They worked well though were no doubt amused by me staggering around in the dark attempting to preserve the goodness of the Force with my Brother Skot – this is best done in times of despair and strife and so we thought the power cut replicated the Blackout’s during the London War Years quite nicely.

We jumped for joy when they fixed the problem and shouted in glee, I’m sure they weren’t used to this and my thought was somewhat confirmed as they ran to their vehicle when I tried to hug them, tread was left on the street as they peeled away to the next welcome assignment.



Unfortunately the fix it job did not last.

No.

Would have been nice for things to blow during the week perhaps.

Nup.

Sunday.

Double time.

And on our side of the fence.

Bitchen.




So a private electrician came and looked at the job.

I already knew the damage, not because I had any idea about fixing this kind of shite, no, I’m cynical, negative and expect the worst – I find this a safe position.

I knew we would have no power that day and night and I knew there would be money involved, what I couldn’t work out was why this was not happening on the 25.12.08 because that would make more sense.

Dad nicely had us around for dinner, we ate the animals he killed, I drank as much of his alcohol that I could and then we returned to the dark house. Thank God for the Kids play torches and the one Heidi kept in case she needed to find me in the yard late at night, or early morning.

With no power we found ourselves in bed very early, too early. I was not able to sit in the tub of whiskey and become one with the rye, mash or whatever it is that makes me happy and this showed me how dependant my brain is on certain substances.

I woke at 0340 hours with my mind running faster than an Ethiopian with a MacDonald’s voucher entitling the bearer to a free Big Mac combo (super sized of course).

In this state I pondered what electricity sounds like; in the past I have heard crackling angry tones when I put a screwdriver in the doorbell mechanism that unknown to me was attached to the mains but in this dark silence I wondered about the possibility electricity has many personalities, perhaps when in a settled relaxed mood I would hear it humming, when listening to its music maybe a soft tic-tic-tic to the beat in its head, and what noise would be heard by someone hit by the almighty, the greatest of all electricity – lightening. Not many creatures survive a direct hit from the white sword of death and those that do are generally fused to what ever they happened to be close to at the time, they also mostly need multi organ replacement, but imagine it, do you feel anything when something that could power the state of Illinois for a week hits you? Is there a holy symphony that lifts body and soul? A cacophony that perhaps echo’s and reflects The Beginning of Everything? What a way to go, to hear and feel the intensity of creation as your molecules are entertained for probably the last time,



sure as hell wouldn’t have to look for the light.



Which is something I still tried to do when deciding that my thoughts were going too fast for even my liking so bumped around the house to find the kitchen to find the fridge to find the beer which was not in the fridge but in the beer fridge in the garage, a garage recently reinvented by the spawns of hell and so I knew I would trip over something and end up bruised though the beers were worth it. So there I was drinking beer and whisky, in the dark with a torch losing power and dying – at about that time I realized the fire I had on was in fact a medieval source of light and scuttled to the lounge to enjoy, which I did for a time and felt atavistically cool drinking the blood of the can and bottle in front of a blaze I had started with my fire stick.

This indeed helped quell the whirlwind in my head and the neurons thanked me for the break, they were reportedly sick of having to fire all the time and the process for catalyzing electrical energy to chemical reaction carriers was frankly burning them out which explained the aroma that probably woke me at 0340 hours in the first place.


We now have power, not sure if it is ‘The Power’ but it better be bloody close considering the money we owe to have Electrickery flowing through the house, and though I am slowly forgetting its presence again for now I remember how important it is and wonder when next I will be reminded of this, and how that call will come.


Perhaps a house call from Benjamin Franklin, he’ll be trailing a kite behind him attached to copper wire and will politely ask me to help pry off a key fused to his hand.




This is good evidence why you don’t mess with the bull;






You’ll get the horns.










Madness and Co.