19.09.08

Been a busy couple of weeks here in The Rock, medical has moved from its old abode to a new freshly painted smaller residence that is yet to be fully functional, apparently in order to move forward you have to go backwards.

As usual SNU has been full of my Creatures of the Night, no other prison or wing will accept them as they have either no room or the prisoners have too many associated management problems with their presentation and so we get to know each other better and better, like a disordered DNA blended family that should never have been allowed to exist. There was of course the new arrival that was not happy to 1. be in prison and 2. that I would not manage him in any other way but in the Round Room. He couldn't see that I felt him being highly paranoid, aggressive, thought disordered and hitting out at others was a problem, tried to hit me on return to the RR and we had to take him to the ground, guess that didn't much help our relationship though what clinched the deal was him being sectioned to Tiaho Mai Mental Health Hospital on day of release, wanted to smash my face in and is going to get me on the outside, considering his presentation I have no doubt I'll see him again,


one way or the other.


It was as a mistake to warn me though.



Pets are funny things,

good for kids but in the end create a lot of mess and collateral damage.

Especially when they're out of control.

5 year old Connor has a rabbit named Rex we inherited from a friend; the rabbit has a friend called Harry the Guinea Pig.

Heidi brought a leash like thing for the Rex the rabbit as Connor was going to take said rabbit to Calf Day at School, apparently there are more animals on show than just calves. Connor was very excited to see the leash and try it out in an attempt to win a prize in 2 weeks time. When he got his hands on the lead his face beamed that kind of look that describes the joy most us adults can't find yet alone remember anymore. This look lasted only a few seconds as Rex turned around and unprovoked and with malice leapt at him and bit him deeply on the forearm, now the look was startled silence which grew into fear and terror that something he so loved attacked him.

I hated that.

Seeing innocence lost in such a manner, bad enough we can't protect them forever but to see it happen in such a way when the opposite was meant to be the case; the first facial expression was the one that he should have gone to bed with, the beam of joy, not the feel and look of terror.

I grabbed the rabbit, slung it under my arm and grabbed the neck but saw Heidi looking with concern so asked

"Shall I kill it?"

"NO!" cried Connor, (so protective).

"They're watching" replied Heidi.

"Take them inside"

Heidi used her political skills to compromise with Connor in that we would get a new rabbit that was user friendly.

Rex jumped happily in his run whilst I wandered to the garage and looked at various implements of death.


I returned to the yard with an axe.



5 year old Connor had a rabbit named Rex we inherited from a friend; the rabbit had a friend called Harry the Guinea Pig.



I returned to the house now the Pet Cemetery was completed, thinking about Stephen King and hoping like hell I had not buried Rex on hallowed ground, would not particularly like to look him in the bulging eyes again, reminded me of the landlords bulging eye in Edgar Allan Poe's story of The Tell Tale Heart, and like the tortured protagonist narrating it I could feel the heart beating and shaking in my blood splattered hands, Heidi offered me a beer and for the first time since I can remember,


I turned it down,


felt dirty,


needed to shower.


Don't know if it's over.


Reaching for hope in more of Poe's words from The Fall of the House of Usher


From that black feathered bastard perched upon my parlour door


Quoth the Raven -



"Never more".





The Grey Madness