20.08.08

Sickness.

Well it’s been awhile since I have been laid up in bed for 4 days, think the last time was in Alabama with a working girl named Suzy, well that’s what I called her for the 72 hours we spent in the room, there was no point doing anything else considering the humidity and heat, sweat was on everyone so why not be sweaty for a reason, that and the bottles of moonshine her pimp threw in meant a good time was had by all.

Lovely people.

But back to now.

The spawns of hell, Connor and Hannah, first came down with the contagion. Next Heidi (cook, cleaner, wife and person who is meant to look after me) decided to fall into its clutches and then inject me in my sleep to join the hapless crew. I never used to get sick prior to meeting Heidi and continue to assert this whenever she infects me. So we have a house hold full of sickness and moans – I was asleep for most of Tuesday and today continue to feel like someone rode me hard and put me away wet.

It feels like a NZ version of ‘Outbreak’ – I’m waiting for Dustin Hoffman to come and seal the house with military gladwrap whilst he pleads for the Government to call off the Air Strike as he’s close to discovering the source of the virus. Initially he’s stumped by the close but not matching DNA patterns though I help him understand the beginnings when I tell him I have had close intimate relations with a Gorilla, chimpanzee, rhesus monkey and a Green Party member – it was the last one he was concerned about, extremely weird and virulent creatures with high THC counts.

The strange thing in regards to the house of sickness was that my Brother Skot had not been struck with the curse. He had an emergency appendectomy about 10 days ago. I found out when leaving prison 2 Fridays ago, some garbled messages on the cell phone, something about pain, so thought I would leave a return message -

“Is the worm out yet? Do you have it in a jar? Of course you know why this has happened don’t you? Because you’re GAYYYyyyy, yes that’s right because you’re GAYYyyyyy and God is visiting his wrath upon you, because you’re GAYYyyyy, have you had any ice cream yet? Not for your worm but if you continue to be GAYYyyyy your tonsils will be next, because you’re GAYYyyy, expect the locust and frogs to visitith you as proof of my power of sight, the leaches refused to come because you’re GAYYyyyyyyyyy, see you soon, much love.”

As you can see I’m caring and accepting of others, though just as well he has not been visited by the ‘virus of incapacitation’ as he has been able to help keep the house hold running,


Because he’s GAYYyyyy.



I went to the Dr yesterday for repeat scripts more than anything, still not able to make it to work but enjoyed throwing up as an alternative. I was a little surprised when the Chemist handed over a big bag of medication and told me

“No charge.”

“Excuse me?”

“No charge.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

Still bemused I wandered out seriously considering I was being toyed with and that the establishment would run from the shadows accusing me off stealing medication and not paying for it, I used my thermo micro wave safe tin foil to cover the goods and high tailed it home. I recounted events of the pharmacy to Heidi and Skot. Skot asked a civil question,

“Have you looked at yourself?”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

Skot is used to this response from his mutant older brother.

“Well,” he started, “You’re scruffy, have a shaved head, and all your tats are visible down your arms.”

“And that means what?”

“Well, perhaps they ask you to pay for your anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers and you can’t pay for them? Then they have a tattooed unstable scruffy person in the pharmacy with the potential to explode (and looking at that prescription this is a reasonable conclusion), and then they need to get you out, but then of course you know the place and being obsessive (looking at the second script) you will return to exact some sort of disturbed revenge, delusional of course but apoplectic none the less.”

My brother understands me and makes sense.

Heidi shut us both up with,

“We’re now considered higher card uses due to the amount of times all of us as a family have been to the doctor and chemist, that’s why there was no charge.”




That also makes sense though Skot and I checked all the pills for radioactive tracking devices. We have both the technology and paranoia to ensure nothing is missed.









The Grey Madness