06.06.08

Fist Fight




Got home last night just as the spawns of hell were settling into their respective caves, this of course meant there was a reprieve and reason for them to run screaming from their lairs and latch onto me, I know what it is, only cupboard love but a good rationalization for them to leave a place they were otherwise confined on punishment of "Daddy won't be happy with that" which I guess is ironic in itself.

After their tentacles were removed and they had tried to drink some of my beer they slipped away, back to the darkness of their rooms where sleep would be fought off by books, toys, light switches and a pair of walkie talkies that some bastard thought was a good present for Connor's 5th birthday.

I was slipping into a whisky watching my brother Skot fashion a couple of sponge thingies into a Scooby Doo chocolate cake for Saturday when Heidi emerged to get a drink from Jessica.

(Jessica is our fridge, there really was no other name she could have, she is of a new range from F&P, the name of the range is Elba, and there's this really, really, really, attractive actress named Jessica Alba, so naturally I named her Jessica, she is a beautiful fridge after all, sometimes Heidi will come to the kitchen and find me cuddling Jessica, she calls me a bastard though it doesn't stop her pushing me aside to get another beer, and that is the other reason I hug Jessica, she holds the beer and the ice for my cheap whisky, though of late Jessica has become a spirit that travels though mechanical items to be near me, she has found her way into the car, we found this out as she is a little jealous of Heidi and often won't allow the CD to play when Heidi is there, I noticed that the flashing red light indicating Heidi's seat belt was not clicked in was in fact Jessica recognizing Heidi's 'signature weight' and therefore able to create dysfunction at the appropriate time, Heidi of course thought I was nuts but when she left to go inside to get something she forgot [typical] the CD started, and when Heidi managed to smack her head into the wide open boot it was all settled).

In any case, back to Heidi as she wanted to tell me about Connor's last school visit before starting next Monday.

Apparently all had been going well and the day had progressed to morning tea time. The school fields and play grounds were covered in swarms of children when from around the corner 3 children came running at Heidi and the teacher, one was leading another who was crying

"He hit him!"

One yelled and pointed at the culprit.

Heidi, embarrassed, rushed over to Connor, gathered him and told him off.

When she had calmed down she noted the alleged victims were 2 classes ahead of Connor and noticeably larger so she thought she had better ask Connor his side of the story.


"Did you hit that boy?"

"Yes."

"Why Dear?"

"I thought he was going to hit me so I hit him in the head."

A sense of pride spread through me when I heard this, my son "going for da head".

It did however occur to me that according to societal expectations I should not feel proud but a need to remonstrate my son, though instinct is a hard thing to manage and impossible to kill.



I stood there gazing into my whisky,



watching the ice dance privately for me.



I drained the amber,




Grinned,






And hugged my little boy.









The Grey Madness, Gollum, his 6000 year old dog and the 6ft White Wabbit.