03.08.07

What's that daddy?

It's a frying pan.

Why?

Because that's what it is.

Why?

Because that's what you DO with it.

Why?

Because I NEED to cook for mummy and daddy after working all day.

Why?

Because mummy CAN'T GET certain things done because of you.

Why?

Go bother your mother.



What's that daddy?

My beer.

Why?

Because I made the mistake of having marital relations with your mother and was not aware of the full implications of such a manoeuvre, sure I thought children would be difficult and times would be tough but of course that was a construct not borne out of practical reality it was a construct created from ideological principles and now of course in the face of reality the construct long ago exploded into spawns of hell that are not legally allowed to make a decision though appear to be allowed to have the power to run my life. How is it possible that you don't have the ability to vote but are more interventionist with regards to social engineering than the Government? How is it that you don't have a licence, can't even reach the pedals but you drive me up the wall? How do you manage to creep into the room in the weekend and place dummies next to my head, then a cuddly toy, and then a running Thomas the Bloody Tank Engine, on the only days I get to rest, what genetic marker gives you that extra sensory power? Stephen Hawking would do better to forget about Theories of Negative Gravity creating the sort of pull to expand the Universe and work that one out! And another thing, why when your mother goes out to a Play Centre meeting, and I know they all get together just to get out of the house and consume wine away from children and husbands, do you then decide to fill your nappies? What evil have I done to the universe that such a plague has been afforded me?!


I'm thirsty daddy.


Me too Hannah.



Me too.






The Grey Madness, Gollum, his 6000 year old dog and the 6ft White Wabbit.