24.12.07

I turned up to Prison on Sunday,

Not sure why,

Not sure why I turned up today in fact,

Probably because Laine (my boss) scares me and threatened my well being (I know what it means when a Samoan smiles silently at you).

In any case I wandered through the very quiet wings wondering where every one was, questioning if I was in another one of my demented dreams, entering medical almost confirmed this as some evil Nurse had decorated the place with crepe paper of so many colours that Joseph would have been jealous and there was a bloody Christmas tree centre stage.

No really,

There was blood all over it as golem had decided to decorate it from all the thousand thousand slimy creatures he fished up from the deck of the ship he was deserted on, he used the beak of the albatross hanging from his neck as a harpoon,

Learnt that from the Japanese he did.

Both a cultural and scientific thing you must understand so allowable and sanctioned by idiot international governing bodies,

MMMMmmmmm science tastes good in Kyoto. As this is one of our Sister Cities surely we should be able to indulge in their application of logic, I have certain scientific questions about the Japanese that has led me to sharpen an old spear Herman Melville gifted to me.

But I was not naked so it wasn't a dream, not that that's the best way of determining such a thing though I used a blunt rusty knife to lacerate my stomach (a place where most people can't see), the blood felt warm and the trickle confirmed a certain sense of reality.

I had forgotten my specs so wore my sunglasses as a barrier to the lack of prisoners flocking my way, they probably heard instead of the usual 4 or 5 nurses there were but 2; Laine and I were on and had only tissues to hand out for them to dry their eyes so they must have preferred their yard or cell to our expressionless faces.

So, again, very close to Christmas and Satan Claws is prowling the roof tops trying to find a chimney he can fit down, since he has become best friends with Jenny Craig there are a lot more of you out there that should be placing spikes in the hearth. You won't kill him as he is undead with special regenerative powers though he does need to leave the house for reasons related to 'the points system' and this will give you approximately 12 months of safety from the Fat Red Man.

The menace that is the annoyance of his 'little helpers' are less deadly though harder to be rid of, I can (for a small fee) loan out the 6000 year old dog as he caught one last year, now that he has the taste he appears to be rabid with elf finding joy. He uses the 6ft White Wabbit as bait 'cause the Elf's think he is one of their mystical friends (The Easter Bunny) and they crowd to see him only to end up as chew toys for the 6000 year old dog.

But this is hardly Christmas spirit,



That would be the bottle of 10 year old Single Malt crafted by the 16 men of Tairn waiting for me in Papakura,



Even from behind these old quarried prison walls I can hear the hum of Scottish men working the barley just right,



Over the Glen and through the mist rolls the cries of a bagpipe being mastered by one who has something to say,



and by the music,



The story is an Ancient one.







Have a safe Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.