24.12.04

Twas the day before X-mass
And all through the jail
Not a creature was moving
Except for the snails.
Who in spite of home brew
And the flaming loo paper
Were merrily dancing
And munching on 'tato's.

(It was not 'cause
They thought they were
Hobbit's in houses,
But because that was all
That was left by the mouse’s.)

The crim's were asleep
Or smoking in yards
Or reducing offending
By dealing out cards.

David drank coffee
And read the newspaper.
He thought about meds
But then reasoned "why bother?"
As panadol, tissues and
Plasters should cover.

Gollum stopped by to
Look for his Ring
But The One was not found
So he ran and he screamed,

Looking for those he described
As malicious -
Those small hairy bastards who'd stolen
His Precious.

Santa was there so he
Lopped off his head
To use as a pillow
For his soft
Downy bed.

With the Ring now
In doubt
As to where it may be
That fat old bastard just
Giggled with glee.

"To hell with the children
And to hell with the gifts,
I'm going to ‘Galbraiths’ to truly
Get pissed.

I'll flog off the presents
Then with the money I've made,
I'm off to the White House
To finally get laid."



Merry Christmas to all


And to all a good Night.



(Of course a good night is defined by the Oxford English Dictionary as drinking Jack Daniels with 3 female Swedish Volley Ball players - in a spa pool. Naked. Reference Oxford English Dictionary 1938 pg 666, para 5.)




The Grey Madness